Christmas festivities!

How I love Christmas, despite the lack of snow this year, although I don't think that we could have coped with no snow and the breakup of Chaz and Dave in all one year, we are British after all. As I am a Christian I believe in celebrating the birth of Christ, the miracle on this Earth with my family and seeing the joyous look of happiness across their face when I give my presents on that fateful day, that comes but once a year. As none of us have any money at the moment, and all that bankers do; I think this year is the best opportunity for us all the celebrate the 'true meaning of Christmas' without sounding like I've been spending too much time with Walt Disney.
Instead of being miserably sat without a turkey and dodgy homemade crackers that don't even pop due to a spontaneous thought while watching a famous cooking floozy on the box, remember that's it's not all about receiving top of the range presents, well certainly not this year. Who knows what next year will bring, if even there will be one as next year is the highly anticipated 2012!!! Have a good Christmas and hopefully see you at the start of next year.
Don't Laugh This Is My Life...

What a journey!

Well as you can see, it's been a long while Bloggers.
So now in the quickest list possible I shall list my actions for the past months, that I have foolishly not elaborated on. After reading you'll soon see why, so here goes!

• Sat my GCSEs.
• Done alright in my GCSEs.
• Started Sixth Form- It's all about the AS girls!
• Seen Take That at Wembley Stadium with my sister- The single 'Greatest Day' with the single greatest sister!
• Turned 17.
• Started driving lessons- God help us all!
• Been ice skating, after 10 years developing my skills, I can now stand up for a whole session.
• Joined a production of Pygmalion- more on that to come, stay Blogging.
• Got myself Coldplay Tickets for 2012.
• Eaten way too much, whats new?
• Moved in the cottage, love the country life.
• Developed a new love of Nail Art.
• Had a Fish Pedicure.
• I was made to get drunk by my loving, caring friends.
• Fallen off a chair in a theatre.
• Sprained my ankle on rock while running to take a picture of a rainbow.
• Been on Holiday to France with my best friend in the whole wide world.
• Decided that I do infact like Jaffa Cakes.
• Avoided Blogger, please forgive me.

Wow, that was a mouthful, as you've red, it's been a busy one. I tell you this now Blogger, it's only just starting for me, thats for sure. I've caught the bug, I don't know what my symptoms are, but I'm not going to finish on this Earth until I get what I want and feed the beast inside me. I already have a voice to be heard, but if it's possible I need it to be even louder.

My mood at this current point in time can be described as this, hopeful. That's enough of the dramatics from me, I cannot wait for Christmas this year and I hope that everyone has a good one, I shall be posting alot more often now. Fear not Bloggers, Alice is well and truely back!

Don't Laugh, This is my Life...

The simplest of things can brighten up your day.

I am a strong believer in Karma, which is why I always try to be nice to people, I don't want it to come round and bite me on the metaphorical bum because there's no worse place to be honest.

Today was a beautiful morning, the perfect morning of course to be cooped up in an exam hall, the universe rewarded me though by giving me a lift to school from my friends dad (she sings by the way, really well http://www.youtube.com/AliD12341) and then on top of that we listened to Chris Evans, something I don't usually do because of the time I go to school but I love his show in the morning, I only hope I can be half as good as him some day. While I was sat in the traffic jam waiting to go to school, we had friendly banter and great music, the makings of a perfect day to come you may think? Alas two exam awaited me once I got to school. But my day went sky high when I was handed this-

OH MY GOD! You can imagine my excitement, plus Mark Owen gave me a kiss, a kiss! Thats enough to make my day for the next three or four years!

Don't laugh this is my life...

she's crackin'

Two in one day! Sick of me yet? This must be what my listeners go through!
This is my friends YouTube account, she has just started record covers and songs. Her voice is beautiful and I am so envious of her talent, she was a tad apprehensive to load them on YouTube though, I have no idea why  though. Please watch, subscribe, tell your friends and most importantly, love her! She would also love your feedback, thank you so much. x
http://www.youtube.com/AliD12341
Don't laugh, this is my life.....

I've missed this.

Yes It's me again my friends.
I've truelly missed the worry that goes through my mind every time I open Blogger. I worry no one will read this!
As I'm sure you're aware I haven't been posting as much as I could have, what have you been doing with yourselves eh? I shall be giving you more depth to my life once my GCSEs are over and Summer can begin.
Please follow me on http://twitter.com/#!/Alice_does_this
And stay tuned to my show, tonight at 10pm on thepark fm.
Don't laugh, this is my life...

Karma, it exists.

So last month I was in a really bad place. I was made redundant from my job, I was homesick after moving house and I didn't know what to do with myself.
This week I've had feedback on my show that people only dream of. Someone that works with a top radio DJ loves my show already. I honestly have no idea what is happening, to top all this off, Howard Donald has my poster! Things are picking up for me now, I am so grateful to everyone I honestly don't know whats happened to me. I can taste it now, it's sweet, indulgent and fairly addictive. Bring it on!
To listen to my show please go to
http://www.thepark.fm/
I currently have an oddest bod feature running where I want to hear the oddest position you've found yourself in this week, you could remain on the leaderboard until knocked off.
And I'm on the lookout for a intro song to my show.
Thank you and let me know what you think
Dont laugh, this is my life...

Broken into show business..

Yes that's right, from that first moment I proudly strode onto the stage as the Grumpy Sheep in The Grumpy Sheep, I knew my calling had come. It was louder than ever when I played Duffy at the tender age of just 7 in Annie.



Toothless gappy smile there,love it!



But now, finally after many years I have a voice to be heard. It's been reluctantly heard by namy for 16 years now, but I have an audience of people, that tune in to hear my voice, incredible! I have my OWN show on a local community radio station and after my first show last week, I loved it! It was the stragest thing to turn on the radio to hear myself. Sadly my laptop wasn't working for my airwaves debut so we resorted to crowding around the DAB radio in Dads car, I heard myself in surround sound, torture! I sounded scared and timid, infact I was. Scared and timid that with any button I may press the rest of the broadcasting of the day would be scuppered because of me, a scary thought when you have a recording studio to yourself! I loved it all the same though, I'm slowly learning the ropes and throughly enjoying the ride, all my fellow broadcasters are so nice and sent me words of congratulations after my first show, not much to some people I understand, but for me, it was as good as an Oscar-that's all to come!

If you would like to tune into my show heres the link

http://www.thepark.fm/ my show is on a Monday night at 10pm UK time, thank you.

Dont laugh, this is my life...

The face at the window..

Since moving to Lymington my family and I have taken advantage of all the stunning views and walks with our savage dog, Daisy. This week we walked past a house that had a local Estate Agents board outside, beautiful place, tucked away in a lane full of flowers with a view of Lymington river. It had an intriguing building in the garden, I decided to investigate after realising that it was empty, in retrospect I should have seen the car in the drive, I naturally didn't see this until I was running away from the house with my Dad. What gave us reason to high tail it pretty swiftly away was the following. I mooched around the garden, sat on the garden swing while my Dad gave the garden flowers the once over. I then peered into the pond and opened the BBQ. We were impressed with the views, something we also observed when we stood on the garden bench to observe the boats going by. Time went on and I reckon we were in this garden for about twenty minutes. I began to look at the outside walls and the pretty old style windows the property boasted. On the second floor was a long window by the stairs, there, by the window, was a man. He was stood there giving us an unimpressed look of astonishment. I smiled at the poor bloke. The wind had well and truely changed on my face at this point while I maintained the fakest grin and signaled to my Dad that there was someone at the window. I chased after the dog who was roaming free at this point as I dropped her lead when I saw 'the face at the window'. We ran out leaving nothing but the garden swing still in motion. As I left the drive I read what the board actually said. Sold. I really need to be more observant.
Dont laugh, this is my life...

Revising...

Maybe I have been revising too long, maybe I have been flicking through these pages too long, hoping something might just go in.Wishful thinking on my part there. I was sat at my desk, my imaginary chains forcing me to revise the quadratic formula when my Mum came into the room and asked where that screwdriver we had was, stupidly I ask why.
"Because I have a screw loose." She said in a casual way, with no knowledge of the other reference.
I've been revising far too long, I found this far too hilarious for too long.
I need to get out now.
Dont laugh, this is my life...

These people get serious

Thats right, what you are looking at right now, I made. I'd love to continue say that it was all by myself, but my sister could read this. We made it 'together', if together means being told where I could take my suggestions about how to stick the royal icing on or flintching everytime she pickes up the rolling pin. So this week was my nieces 4th birthday, a lovely family event for all. It seems it isn't the case in suburban Lymington. It's a competition of the toughest, an opportunity for the Mothers to show off their ploomage of cake decoration and daring stunts with the humble sausage roll. They take it very seriously if you hadn't noticed by this time. I helped out at this 'competition to see who can make the nicest looking cupcakes and birthday cake' with a few kids running around. Basically, the winner is declared when their cupcakes are eaten the quickest by a load of 3/4 year olds that just want to eat the bright coloured frosting as fast as they can, to then pretend that they haven't been given their first one. They then leave the table, high on thier latest sugar spree to run around the room until someone gets hurt and they all go home crying. Gotta love these childhood memories.
Dont laugh, this is my life....

Theres always next year..

So this week was Mothers Day, the one day of the year that I have to be 'nice' to my Mum, the one day of the year I have to be all soppy and call her Mummy a couple of times. This all sounds pretty straightforward I suppose, but combined with the sibling competition every year that occurs in my family, I'm sad to say that I think I lost yet AGAIN! I bought my Mum, the new R.E.M album, rubbish band, why some people think they can continue making music after being around for so long and still expect it to be 'cool' is just wrong in my opinion. I also stretched my culinary skills to the maximum when I made scrambled eggs. I must admit that it took the shine off it a bit when I had to use a knife to scrape it out of the pan and onto my Mums cold toast after the whole kerfuffle. We turn up a few hours later to my sisters house who has made a banquet. Miles of cakes, tea, sandwiches, and nibbles. I saw the look on my Mums face, I saw that she has chosen who would get the majority of the will, shame that, I need a new Ipod! As I sat opposite my sister, she smugly showed 1-0 with her hands, I could have quite easily thrown my 'queen of puddings' cake at her, followed by her pretentious 'cheese twists with a herb coating', makes me sick. As much as she continued to say that she loves afternoon tea, personally I think that nothing beats breakfast.
Dont laugh, this is my life...

You better not laugh!

For once, I'm being serious, no really I am! After recent developments in my life I have discovered the following. People that I once thought of as friends, people that I once thought of a colleagues turn thier back on you; except those outstanding individuals that see you for who you are and go out of their way to hold out their hand. This also tops off how little solidarity we have towards the rest of humanity, except there is something quite inhuman in the way that we treat eachother, it's practically primitive. We are all shoved onto this Earth whether we like it or not, the least we could all do is to get on with each other.

My apologies about that, it has been eating me inside for some days now, gasping for a release. This week I saw John Bishop at the BIC,after seeing him at the Apollo and various panal shows I knew what he was about, I am now a huge fan of hus. The man is hilarious, not only is his Liverpudlian accent a credit to his jokes, they somehow make it funny. I found myself laughing at the times he was complaining about marriage and the common adult and looking over at my sister to suggest that she is exactly what he is talking about. She hadn't had a day out since Christmas and rugulary makes attempts to murder her Husband. But my sister seeked revenge when he then had a stab at his teenage children, according to my sister I have a funny voice and my hair cut is odd. She found was laughing so hard she was rocking the whole row of seats at one point, our fellow audience gave us disapproving looks, I knew it wasn't going to be a smoothly executed night when I forgot the tickets and had to 'run' back to the car to get them, which was locked so I had to break into it.
Dont laugh, this is my life...

You're right, I am an idiot!

When I look back over my life, when I look back over this week even, I can name too many occasions I've made a fool of myself, I don't quite know why this is? But it always seems to be something people always remember when we reminisce about days gone by. It seems to start with, "Alice, I cannot believe you did that!" or "Who does that Alice?", me that's who! Today was a perfect example, we were studying Avatar in RS, trying to find the religious significance in blue guys running around an island with not many clothes, I couldn't see the significance in that myself personally, feel free to say though if you have. Instantly my friend piped up reminding me that when we went to see it at the cinema she remembers when I shot back in my seat, grasping both arm rests expecting something to leap out at me at any moment ( I hadn't seen a 3D film before) I soon realised it didn't and I enjoyed the film, not without stretching my head back in the jumpy bits still afraid it would jump out at me, she gave me disapproving looks.
We were also discussing our A-level choices, which led to someone else laughing that I didn't choose to do a tech for my GCSEs based on the fact I sanded a chunk of my thumb on the electric sander, determined to get a smooth jigsaw box in Woodwork. I splattered Lasagne sauce all up the blinds in Food Tech, its probably still there to be honest, it got covered. I broke a precision drill in Graphics, at the time I blamed someone else. I went a bit to far into it though saying that she broke it in a sabotage attempt in the dead of night while being lowered in on a wire, I never really know when to stop.
I guess that's the kind of person I am. I hope I grow out of it one day, I'd like to eat Lasagne again.
Dont laugh, this is my life....

The Last Time

Sorry I haven’t said much, to any of you that are interested. I have been caught up in revision, revision and then a bit more. I have been thinking about my blog though, feeling bad that I haven’t posted in a week. It echoed in my mind like a forgotten puppy. The most influencial thing that has happened to my this week has to have been at work. We were considerably short staffed with only two people for a four person Cafe, nevertheless myself and my friend didn’t let this overcome us. I was keen to gain responsibility and gratification in the workplace ( I wanted to be a suck up to my boss) so much that I volunteered my services in the Cafe kitchen, I would be preparing the dishes for the lunchtime rush, which including multi-tasking. ( that’s ruled me out) After watching my colleague do it with ease, I asked myself how hard it could be? It turns out it has to be one of the most mentally testing tasks I’ve done in my entire life, and I’ve sat two Physics exams, that fact that I scraped a C in both is by the by. At what had to be the pinnical of the lunch time rush period, my boss decided to walk in inquiring how things are going, I answered positively as a teacake was burning behind me, the soup was spluttering on the stove and I was throwing a hot Jacket Potato around, those things get hot! She of course, didn’t buy this so left me to it. Looking back, everyone got fed. It may not have been what they ordered, but some people would call it food!
Dont laugh, this is my life…

Friends Reunited

This week, something amazing happened, I finally found a use for Facebook, as apposed to my parents beliefs on it, I found my long lost best friend from nursery, a beautiful moment it was, cannot wait to relight friendship again where we left off, like old flames. After having my blog for about three months now, I’ve become slightly addicted to reading strangers’ blogs and begging my friends to read it, which brings up my total. I regret interrogating one of my friends as to whether he red my blog while on holiday in half term, in retrospect, I didn’t need to tie him to a chair with a single bulb hanging in the room, I suppose I got caught in the moment, he should make a complete recovery. Another occasion is, demanding my other friends to read my blog when they go to Morocco in the Summer. I didn’t worry for their safety as the neighbouring countries are going through political turmoil, no I simply threatened them that ‘I will see if you have or not, so you have to do it'. Its really not good, someone could die before long, that’s not a threat I’d like to add, I’m not at all a violent person, I don’t believe in it at any cost, that is of course not sarcasm there!
Dont Laugh, This is my Life...

How relaxing….

Again, I’m very sorry for not posting, there is no reason really, I just forgot. This week is half term, thank God for that. It always seems to go just as quickly as it came again, bloody marvellous. Today I decided to use my voucher for a facial from Christmas to help myself relax after all the stresses and strains of teenage life, It’s very draining stalking peoples Facebook and takes great skill finding things to do in my house other than revise, this wears thin after a while. First of all, I expected all my stresses to drop off as soon as I stepped through the doors of the Simply B beauty salon (if only that happened when I walked through the doors of the gym). I arrived late and she bundled me into the treatment room and demanded that I stripped to my underwear, she did all this with a voice that sounded like she had been smoking spliffs all day, I felt like I was in a low rent Mafia movie. In all fairness the facial was amazing, I recommend them to everyone, well anyone who bothers to read this. I was relaxed the whole duration of the facial, except there was a part of my mind thinking, “What would happen if I fell asleep?”Now, those of you who know me understand what this means, for those strangers out there, it means bad news. In my sleep, I have been know to ramble on about fridges, answer Mark Owens sexual suggestions and snore a little. Not the best habits to have when your being massaged. I didn’t fall asleep, there is a God. So far, that’s all that’s happened this week, but it is only Wednesday and I have got Alice coming round on Friday, anything could happen!
Don’t laugh, this is my life

Reporting Back.

Again, sorry about my lateness, I had to make a cake for Harrys birthday with my friend who is also called Alice (I love her), and I reckon he would have been a bit miffed if I chose my blog over him, because he set his little heart on it.It took two and a half hours to make, filled with singing and a couple of spillages here and there, we were also very worried that the icing resembled building materials, ironically it turned out to be the best tasting part! I wish they hadn’t eaten the cake really, it was so picturesque. It was like sacrificing one of the family.

I’m sure many of you know the sudden rush of sickness and frozen fear when it is announced to you that reports ‘are coming out today’. That’s wrong for a start, firstly ‘person who just told me’ don’t look at me like that knowing yours will be better than mine, it may be but have you looked at yourself recently, you look like you should in captivity with that amount of make up on, surely you must get signals from planes asking where they should land when you look that orange? Secondly, reports came out years ago, they are all gay! And don’t say it with so much anticipation likes it the tricky third album, for me its the ‘how the hell am I supposed to Tipex that remark out when you bloody type it’ album. So it wasn’t bad I suppose, I was proud that it was noticed that I have a ‘great grasp of comedy timing’ what this means I’ll never know, but I have yet to explore the rest of my life. I have still been fooling around in lessons, but to me that means chatting with my friends, to my parents it means different,dancing on the tables, something my mum thought I did when she red that I fool around in lessons, if only, alas a boring Physics lesson at Bournemouth School for Girls is not a scene from Fame, saying that there are some teachers I would rather not see in Lycra and legwarmers. The hard part comes now though, I have to be a geek for the next few months, better brush up on my Warhammar tactics and get my hair greasy now then!

Dont laugh this is my life…

Smashing.

First of all, I feel an apology is in order, to the one remaining 'fan' I may have, if your out there somewhere. I regret to say that this post is overdue three days. Before you light the pitch forks and drive your wring hands to my neck, allow me to explain my shameful self. Sadly, since I can remember I've been forever tested on at school, prepped for tests and quizzed more times than I care to remember, so thats basically whats been holding me up from posting. The toils of a teenager hung heavy around my neck this week more so than usual, but what can you do but laugh?

So as the name entails, this week is no different to any other week in my life. Wednesday saw my group and I perform our drama practical, which consists of a couple of people prancing around the stage for a bit, being roasted by the teacher afterwards and by the piercing spotlights that blind you, to be honest at that moment, I would much rather go into the 'light". Ofcourse during the pressure of performance, in the opening scene, I stubbed my toe very loudly on the frame that held the set up backstage, very painful, I was forced to do some kind of slow motion jujitsu with my mouth wide open in pain, with my arms resembling someone that has recently had a religiuous enlightenment. I was forced to recollect myself for my next entrance as the grumpy old Mrs White. We settled into the pattern of things when our play was brought to an end, we over ran. We reconvened later on and during my typically British apologising fit when I was alone with the 'lady who does the filiming' she highlighted that it showed our inexperience and how unprepared we are. Well Missy, if I got my kicks out of being mean to young girls, who are obviously sorry and look for opportunities to moan and crush egos, I wouldnt bother getting up in the morning, I would hang myself with my own whip from the van I obvious used to steal children, in my circle of hatred. This wasnt all that happened ofcourse, during a blackout, I bumbled across that stage causing the damn vase to smash everywhere consequently causing me to being shouting profanities and as the lights went up, I was frozen in a 'rabbit in the headlights pose' as my clumsiness was revealed to the room, thankfully, I was told the vase was inexpensive, I still felt bad though, sorry Alex! That stupid women was recording my mishap and it has been filed to shame me when I leave BSG, she got one over on me, no one does that, Ill be there one day poised to steal that tape with my blooper in, I'll get dropped in on a wire in the dead of night if necessary. Of course this weeks highlight has the be my misfortune that I turned up at a house assembly that I was supposed to write with nothing prepared, yes, nothing. I got thoroughly grilled by my teacher who asked me to step outside with her. Now at this point I should have prepared myself for a fist fight, spitting in my palm, pulling up my cuffs and I should have said,

"Hang on, lets drop our weapons, I see that glue gun in your pocket, lose it"

What would have made the moment more funny was if she threw me across the gap in the door as she explained that she was 'fed up' with me, isnt everyone? My plans for this blog have moved forward, if you have any funny questions for me, I will answer them in a video and post it on the blog, so ask away, no question is too weird.

Dont laugh, this is my life..

That feeling of just a great day.

Well, where to begin honestly? Today has literally been the best day since realising that when you adhere to the signs on doors that suggest you ‘pull’ or ‘push’ its far less embarrassing when trying to leave a building, than wrestling with it hours on end, again I’m side tracking. 
As a self confessed Take That fan, I was ecstatic to receive a signed DVD by Howard and Gary I may have over reacted when I bounded through the halls of my school to my form room with a face that is only comparable to that of something inhuman. Many of my friends are at the point of taking my DVD and shoving it where the ‘sun don’t shine’ based on how much I may have mentioned it, to be honest it couldn’t have been more than a dozen. I honestly think they are overeacting. The person that has caught my attention this week is Dermot O'Leary's face onstage as those annoying twins, Ant and Dec won yet another award at the ‘National Television Awards’ To top it off, he was hosting the show, adding insult to injury. Cheer up Dermy the BAFTAs are soon, based on that fake smile, you’ll sweep the board.
Pretty average couple of days for me. I did though stumble in on an assembly while on a determined quest to find my Drama notes, which have never been found. No one thought to tell me as I charged up to the door, flung the door open, and this was one of the rare moments I was literally speechless as I saw about two hundred people looking at me as if I’d just asked if any of them fancied joining me in a naked five-a-side team, and yes Mrs C£$”%”£^n you can be the cheer leader . The only words I could utter were, “Ohhhh” and quickly retreated back to the corridor where I was greeted by my friends of course finding it hilarious. In retrospect, I probably should of ask if anyone did want a naked five-a-side team, when in doubt, be confident! I fell in a heap in the corridor and observed the look on the teachers and the students faces as they walked past me. Some hung their head in shame to even know me, some shook their heads, and one teacher even shook her head in disappointment, this I don’t understand, it’s funny how she wasn’t surprised as at it was me, I don’t think much surprises when it comes to me now.
Dont laugh, this is my life.

Desperate times.

After announcing today to my friends that I had joined the rest of the world and that I now have a blog, it caused much a stir. Many just thought the very idea that I have something good to say was hilarious and I’m guessing that’s the kind of reaction I’m looking for, seeing as the aim of this is to have an amusing take on my life. Others suggested that I add to this and make a video diary too, I don’t think they like me very much to see me pouring my heart out in front of a screen? One even said that it could be famous, well isn’t that what everyone secretly wants, from the first time we look out to the bathroom spread before us and thank our parents for helping us get this prestigious hairbrush and give the self satisfied grin to the shampoo and hand soap who we imagine to be full of envy, then the reality sets in, when you see yourself and the expression in the mirror. I suddenly realised this whole blog business is serious in the eyes of many people, so I spend most of my day desperately trying to find things to write about this week, not what I expected myself to be like, but whatever I did, I thought to myself, who cares about the observation I made that whatever I do, the light from my Physics teachers head still got in my eye from the sun, that man must head wax. See I doubt you really want to know about that? But then I thought this is silly, if I have anything worth saying, I will.I don’t need to dash around madly like a roving reporter desperate for something to put in my blog that I know no one will read, these creative juices that I hold within me, are supposed to just flow? Well someones put a Dam up on mine because I got nothing. Buts its alright seeing as no one is reading this….

Dont laugh, this is my life.

This is where it starts

Hello World,
Well this is a bit scary isnt it? Little me sat here in my onesy, sipping hot chocolate with the dream to write a blog that someone wants to read and who ever "you" are could be anywhere in the world, or even beyond? It doesnt take Poirot to realise this is my first 'post' if you will. I understand there is probably someone much like me the other side of the pond with exactly the same ideas with a much better blog, all I can say is that, if your reeading this knowing your blog is simular, and you too live across the pond, bite me. This procrastination is why it took me a long while to open one, but I suppose if we all lived to that rule, nothing would be done. We would all be very fat with an inability to dive through car windows, which would cause a 'Dukes of Hazzard' moment much less sexy if a shoe horn is needed. Anyway, I'm getting a tad side tracked, as usual. This will be a weekly blog reviewing my past week, thank you very much for reading this, I feel that in the 'high flying' generation that we all live in, its so intruiging to hear stories from other people. Please feel free to email me any questions or your simular stories.